One Step Closer

I am one step closer to starting treatment. Yesterday my doctor inserted an infuse a port. This will allow easier access to administer the chemo. I am really sore today, the port was put just under my collar bone on my left side. So I am back to not having a full range of motion in that arm-this drives me nuts, its a short term thing but still. Thank goodness for good doctors and good medicine!!! I will go in tomorrow and have my bone scan, CT scan and chest x-ray, and then on Thursday I will meet with my oncologist again to set a start date for treatment (which should be in the next few days). I have been staying busy with work, M and her softball, and just keeping a normal daily routine. We spent the weekend in NWA with M playing softball in a "Pitch for the Cure" tournament. Yes I even wore our team shirts that were light pink with the ribbon on them as well. It didn't bother me, this wasn't about me. I didn't look at it like it was drawing attention to me and what I am dealing with it, it was a benefit tournament, that just happened to be raising money for breast cancer. There are so many emotions that come with all of this, that sometimes I don't even know what I am feeling. Between being tired of just having to deal with everything, to the pain of procedures, to the anger and moodiness--this is a roller coaster I wish I didn't have to ride. I just keep telling myself that there is a reason and purpose for all of this. God has a bigger plan, more than I can understand and more than I need to know at this point, but all in His time.