Get On With It

I came back to work on Tuesday, just for a few hours, but I figured that I had to get on with it sometime. So the daily routine of run here and there started back. Work, doctor, work again, errands and finally a trip to the ball park--back to normal is good!! I ran to the doctors office on Tuesday for a quick check just to make sure all is healing well, it is. She is going to go ahead and get my records to the oncologist. My doc says that since all is healing so well that we should get started with treatment, oh joy!!!!! I should meet with the doctor sometime in the next week or so. We will come up with a plan for treatment as far as how many of each kind (radiation/chemo) and in what order. That will make things better as far as I need to mentally get ready for this. Every time I think that I might wrap my head around what is fixing to happen it changes-I need a plan!!! I need to be able to say ok this is what is going to happen and this is where we are in that process. The emotional roller coaster is driving me insane! The mood swings are horrible, I am usually in a good mood, but sometimes the slightest little thing will send my mood into a downward spiral that feels like there is no bottom for. The worst part is feeling like you have no control over it. I hate the knowing that I am in a bad mood and knowing that I am biting off the head of everyone around me and still not being able to pull out of it. Those times are usually the ones that I go find a place by myself and try to spare the world around me of any hatefullness that might come out. All I can say is those around me have been so understanding and great to put up with the moods, for that I am blessed.