This Stinks

I think that is the nicest way I can put it, at this time. This is really starting to stink. I can honestly say, I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I swore I wouldn't use the word sick. I am not sick, but all these medicines are making me feel sick. I'm tired of the chemo and/or the pre meds giving me the headache and I'm tired of taking so much medicine for the headaches and then taking something for what those medicines do, and so on and so on. I hate not feeling like just getting up and going like normal. Today for example I got up and finally got around to leave the house, I dropped off M and headed for work. By the time I got to the office I was tired and felt like crap, so I headed home. I am fortunate to be able to work from home, which I am doing today. I am just missing the normal summer routine. I love the sun and the outdoors, which I am told at this time will intensify the drugs in my system and make me sick. I miss the lake, the ball field and the occasionally road trip (you get the picture). Ok enough of that, I just needed to whine and vent a little. Truth be told I am very fortunate, I don't feel bad all the time and I have enjoyed many things this summer and I have seen people that prove this could be so much worse. I sat in church yesterday needing to hear something I knew was meant just for me. Then I heard/felt God say if you can trust me with these things(the list ran thru my head), trust me with this. It was the reassurance, that God is in control of this, that I needed. I have known all along He is in control, that He has a plan for me, but there are times that we just need God to speak straight to us. And thank goodness He knows when we need to "hear" Him.