First Post Treatment Check Up

Today I went for my first check up, post treatment. I had to go to the regular lab to get my blood drawn since they took my port out last week when they did my hysterectomy. It was strange to go into a place that I have been going to for 6 months and have to ask "where is the lab" one would think I should know. My blood counts came back good or at least like they are suppose to, the doc said it is time to go back to being "normal". Once I am cleared to lift and such I can start exercising more and building strength back especially in my arm that have become so weak. My doc also said that I can play softball this year!!! That is like telling me I am healed. I have missed playing so much and to be told I can play again is such a boost for the spirit!! I don't have to go back to the oncologist for 2 months. So for now it is back normal life!

Did I Happen to Mention?

Did I happen to mention that I don't have to go to treatment today? It is so strange to be in the office on a Tuesday. It has been 6 months since I have listened to the girls discuss what realtors open house they are going to go have lunch. (mostly based on what is being served where) It seems like forever since I didn't have to arrange to be dropped off or picked up or sat with on a Tuesday. My sweet hubby called me this morning and said "just in case you forgot you don't have chemo today" as if in my house we would ever forget that. He thought he was so funny-and it was. It is only now that I look back and see just how consumed our lives have been by all of this. As I was going through treatment, I rationalized it by saying its only Tuesdays or its only 6 months or 6 weeks but in all reality it was everyday all day long. This is a strange transition time, you go from everyday all day doing something to get rid of or keep from getting cancer to nothing all of the sudden. It makes you feel like you have been dropped like a hot potato. I can't wrap my mind around it taking up so much time to taking up so little-and all of the sudden. Don't get me wrong I don't miss it or want to go back in time, but it almost feels like I am forgetting something.

Goodbye Chemo!!

I am officially done with chemo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Those are some of the sweetest words I thought I might not ever hear. It is hard to believe that I am finished with all my chemo treatments. It sounded like I would be taking them forever when I first started. I am so ready for my vision to return to normal (a side effect of the steroids given with chemo), I am ready for this port to be taken out (dec 21st) and I am ready to begin the healing process. I am physically and emotionally drained from this past year and I am so looking forward to 2010 and putting life back together and back to normal. I am looking forward to spending time with my family, not sitting on the sidelines and watching life but getting in there and being a part of it. I am ready to see what comes next and know that I am stronger for what has been.

Tomorrow Is It!!!

I can't believe it is finally here, but tomorrow is my final treatment. It doesn't seem real that I could actually be done with chemo and radiation. In ways this year has flown by and in ways it has crept, but I am thankful to be here no matter how fast or slow it happened. I spent this past holiday week with great family and friends and time appreciating the important things in life. According to the doctors after treatment I will have my blood drawn to keep a check on different levels and to make sure that things stay like they are suppose to stay. But other than taking a pill and the occasional doctors visit I will be done!! I will spend the first part of next year healing, and hopefully start reconstruction the second half of the year. I want to be able to enjoy time without doctors appointments every week, M playing softball and just trying to get back to some kind of normalcy. I want to be able to just breathe.

One Month Left!

Only 4 weeks left of treatment!! I can't believe it, it sounds so weird to think I only have 4 more chemo treatments. Tuesday I had treatment 8 of 12, all went well. I am still trying to heal the radiation burn. It has been a nightmare! I have always said I loved blood, guts and gore as long as it wasn't mine-well its mine now. Burns are gross and PAINFUL!!!! I have slept in our recliner for the last 3 or 4 nights just to find a comfortable position. I swear I would rather do the first round of chemo again than deal with this burn. I don't like to be the complainer but seriously I just want to catch a break!! I can honestly say that up to this point, this is the worst part. I know it won't last much longer but I am totally ready for it to me over!!

No More Radiation!!!

Yesterday was the last of my radiation treatments!!! The only thing that will make me happier is no more treatments of any kind. The healing from radiation may take a week or two, but at least we aren't adding to what has to heal. I have heard several times over the last few weeks that radiation burn is like a bad sunburn. All I have to say is that if anyone burns this bad by being out in the sun, my advice would be STAY INSIDE--FOREVER!!!! This is ridiculous!! Yesterday was also treatment #7 out of 12 chemo treatments, so I am more than halfway done with chemo as well. I know that my mood should greatly improve over the next few day, just knowing that I am done with part of this and only have a few left of the other. That has been one of the hardest things for me to deal with is having my life on a schedule and not my own. Our family is always busy and doing stuff, but it is because we choose to do so not because we are "told to". I want the freedom to say oh I can't make it or I don't want to and know that it is not going to "cost" me in the long run.

Burn Baby Burn

It has finally hit, radiation burn. It is up my neck and under my arm at the end of my scar. I have this cream they gave me that I can put on several times a day for the discomfort, but it can't be put on for a couple hours before treatment or it will make the burn worse-that's a comforting thought!! I thought this stuff was suppose to help not hurt!!! Anyway, that has been the most difficult to deal with, my clothes irritate it, rubbing irritates it and just being irritates it. Chemo today was fine, I came home and took a nap and then showed houses tonight. I can tell I am more tired tonight but I feel pretty good overall. I have 5 days of radiation left and today was the 6th treatment in a series of 12 (so I am half way there)!!!! December 1 could not come soon enough!!
On another note, I went to the paint the park pink on Saturday with a couple of friends and walked on a very inspiring lady's team. She ask me if it bothered me to do an event like that, and it really made me think. It was difficult, but just because it makes me face what I am dealing with. It was a great reminder of what I have been through and what I have left to do. It made me jealous that so many were "done" with treatment and were able to move on with life. It made me very aware of where I am in my treatment--no hair, doctors 6 times a week, weight gain from steroids, just to mention a few that bother me. It also gave me hope that in time I will be in those ladies' shoes-done with treatment, totally changed by what I went through and moving in a direction that God has planned for me.